Do you ever find yourself falling into that social media comparison trap? You know the one where you wish you were the one living the life you see in the photos of Instagram, Facebook, or any other platforms you’re on. Social media, like anything else, has its pros and cons. It has been so helpful to connect with others for various reasons whether that be hobbies, professional reasons, or community such as connecting with others with disabilities still it’s not without its challenges. Social media can be hard to navigate so you are reaping the benefits and continuously avoiding the comparison trap. If you’ve been following me for a while now you know how often I talk about mindset work so today I’m sharing some reminders I tell myself to help me stay focused and out of the social media comparison trap
Social media has helped me connect with other women in wheelchairs, learn from, draw inspiration, and seek advice on everyday living when it comes to handling a situation or reviews for a new mobility device. It has helped me more times than I can count and the conversations I had on these platforms are a key reason for me to start The Sitting Beauty Diaries. However, as much as it has helped me, I also felt myself wishing I could do tasks and activities beyond my capabilities. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when I struggle with the difficulties of living with Cerebral Palsy, but I know without I wouldn’t have had all the experiences that have happened in my life and I wouldn’t be the person that I am. So when I feel myself falling into that comparison trap, I do my mindset work and focus on these 3 three things I tell myself to get out of the social media comparison trap.
3 Things I Tell Myself To For My Mindset &Get Out Of The Social Media Comparison Trap
“ There’s No B- Sides” ~Jimmy Palmer
One of my favorite NCIS episodes is Season 14’s episode 10 because it dives more into Brian Dietzen’s character Jimmy Palmer. In this episode, Jimmy spends time talking to a man who wants to jump off a ledge. When the man talks about how great everyone’s life seems on social media, Jimmy says “There’s no B-sides, everyone only posts their greatest hits. No one talks about their lousy days.” Everyone has things that they wish they could be doing, or places they were visiting. The pictures on social media are proof of the hard work it took to get there whether it was learning a new skill, working extra hours to save for that vacation or anything in between. The pictures on social media are a culmination of that, not the b-sides of doing the work. This statement reminds me that there are some moments that I’m sharing the greatest moments for and others where I’m doing the behind-the-scenes work and that’s okay because with consistency, my time will come.
Focus On My Goals & The Journey To Get There
We all have things that we want in life, but we can’t do the work and get to that goal if we are constantly focused on someone else’s journey. In order to reach my goals, I need to focus on them and enjoy the journey to get there. My goals and my path of how I reach them are unique to me. When I focus on my “why” I want to do something and envision what my life will look like when I finally do, it’s a great motivator and a great reminder of my reasons for going through all of this hardship in the first place. Nonetheless, I’ve also learned to take time to enjoy the process, if you keep yourself only focused on the goal in front of you, you’ll reach it for sure, but you’ll miss everything else along the way including amazing experiences and opportunities.
I Have My Capabilities & Limitations and That Person Has Theirs:
Disability or not we all have different capabilities, yes things might be easier if you were capable of doing something that someone else was, but it isn’t always something that you can learn or work on. So what are you good at, what are the things that you can do? When I feel myself wishing I was capable of something, I focus on what I am capable of doing whether it’s something to do with my disability and my independence or something completely separate from that. We have capabilities and limitations and these aspects of our lives affect our experiences which makes each and every one of us unique.
Social media has changed the way we go about so many aspects of life for nearly two decades now, it has connected people by interests and issues whether they’re one 1 mile from you or thousands. Social media has many positives, but there are also determinants including but not limited to the social media comparison trap. However, constantly working on my mindset and making sure these statements are part of my daily reminders enables me to focus on the positives, not the negatives. Do you find yourself falling into the social media comparison trap? If so, how do you deal with it?
~Kimberly
